Before I start, This little page will just be a journal of what I have went through.Mom, if you are reading this, you genuinely burned our bridge <3

I decided to start this journal to vent my frustruations, before you continue I will warn you of it's contents. It mentions SH, Su!c!dal Ideation, and @bus3 (both mental and physical)Press the button below to confirm you acknowledge such content.

This will be separated into parts, each part will have a label and such. Triggering topics are spoilered by default.

Custody Case
My mother told my sister of everything I spoke about in court, and that is where all the hate began. I overheard her telling each and every child what I had mentioned. Which they then used against me and began to bully me. It felt like they were retaliating for my mother, I felt outcast. I felt like the “Black Sheep” of the family. I begged my father to file contempt, but to our misfortune, he had no lawyer and no funds for such. Therapist Removal
I had a very trusted and loved therapist, Ms.A, I was 12 at the time so my mother had access to my meeting and mental health records. When she heard enough information on me, she got rid of my therapist and used the excuse that "I was getting worse, not better", and due to my young age, used everything she was told against me. She also began to tell my sisters of the sort. Which they chose to use against me as well, like minions for my Mother. It made me close off, just a little, and I ended up Self-Harming for an extended period of time. Sisters Bullying
My sisters began to bully me for my Self-Harm and Suicidal Ideation . My younger sister (Lets call her J) announced to the whole bus that I ||Self-Harmed) (at this point I had not relapsed, she was speaking of a past matter), and also began to tell me to Kill myself . When I notified mom of this, she only told me to not give them things to tell about. At this point I felt even mom stopped caring, and maybe this is where the love stopped. Pictures
Not long after she found out about what happened in the therapy sessions, Mom had people take pictures of me in school [She PAID them, to take pictures of me]. I have seen such proof on her phone. (Present day, still have not found who took those pictures.) I began to sit in school and look over my shoulder, I felt even school was not safe for me. School could not be trusted. School was just another place mom had her eyes in.Best-Friends Injuries
The end of 8th grade came, my friend (I will call her JC) was burned at a sleepover. The sleepover was a celebration for the end of the school year, for all of us to party and rock out. When my mother found out about the fire, Mom attempted to turn my friend's parents against my father. When that did not work, she chose to then put them against me (Present-Day update, I am no longer friends with any of the friend group. My mother won in that regard, and I feel alone.). Mom said my father was present and he was not, nor was she there to see. Self-Harm
Once I found out about the pictures, I began to Self-Harm . It had gotten… very bad. It got so bad (my self-mutilation) , that it scarred thick and long on my thighs . I revealed this to my Mother, hoping for consolation with this ‘addiction’ . She told me that I did it for attention. She also says I Self-Harm because of dad (When in reality it is her). When this came around, she began to do checks, I thought she cared when these checks began to happen. I asked her why she was doing them, I wanted to hear that it was because she cared. Instead, she said it was because of my utensils for Self-Harm being a danger to the kids. At this point, I felt like i was just a member of the household, not a member of the family. I felt outcast. Suicidal Ideation
When the Self-Harm and mutilation stopped giving me comfort, I began to have suicidal ideation , nothing I would truly act on unless I hit a boulder, but I had a plan. I revealed this to my therapist hoping for help, and she went to tell my Mother and Father. I was taken to a mental health screening , and spoke to someone about what I chose to do in this situation. I was given a choice between Partial, or Out Patient. I chose Out Patient out of fear of meeting new people (and being at mom’s more often). Mom argued with the lady, and said I was underdeveloped and could not make these choices for myself. I was ultimately let go with my choice of Out Patient. When we got into her truck to leave, Mom said I faked my Suicidal Ideations for attention, and then said I was suicidal because of dad. I ceased communication due to these words, and tried to rangle thoughts of Self-Harm , and thoughts of proiving to her it wasn't for attention (Via comitting to the ideations) while she went over her words and spoke to me like I was faking everything. She told me that I stopped talking because my attention and contention meter was full. Arm brace
On my birthday, I went to a roller-rink. I broke my arm rollerblading on dad’s time, we thought it was a sprain and went home. The next morning, when my arm was still in pain, we got it checked out, and braced. Mom blamed dad for my fall, and did not take me to the OIP for an extended period. When my father missed an appointment, she forced me to get a plan together on how to get insurance. (and threatened to take me off her own). Positive test 1
I fell into vaping over these frustrations, stressful situations, and lack of other outlets. My mother refused to let me write, draw, listen to music, etc (This includes my self-harm) . Mom witnessed my grades plummet, and tested me due to this. I was caught with nicotine in my system. Following this, she would do vigorous self-harm checks. The Argument
At some point I caught an attitude and refused to wash the dishes (As I had always done upon remembering before). My mother then threatened to call the police, I thought that being in a jail cell would be better than being with mom, so I dared her to. She did not do so, instead she proceeded to have me throw my earrings away, which I complied with. The next thing to go were the bracelets I was wearing at the time (I have remade them between then and now), they were based off my favourite band, Sleep Token. Mom was just barely alright with the band, and only refused to let me listen to them because my sister was reminded of (Our abuser, Mom's ex-husband) when Sleep Token would play. I refused to throw away the bracelets, as Sleep Token was (and still is) a very large hyperfixation of mine. I also refused because I put my time into the bracelets, my money into the bracelets, and a very sentimental/important bead from a friend I was not in contact with. The Fight (And charge)
Mom made a grab for the bracelets, and tried to remove them from my wrists. She called them "furry" bracelets. I fought, I wanted to protect the bead. (for reference, the bead was a clear purple butterfly). In the end, her nail ended up gouging my arm, and she broke a few bracelets. I, out of anger, broke the rest. She then went into her room and called 9-1-1 while I grabbed the bead and hid it in my brace. The police arrived, I spoke to them, and my mother pressed charges on me for harassment. Positive test 2
My mother does random drug tests . It can happen at any spontaneous time. She does not drug the other children, or at least if she does, she never has approached them while I was around. Unlike her actions of taking me to do these tests every time someone is watching. In one of these tests, I was positive for medical marujiana . I had not consumed any of the sort, so mom blamed it on my father. Summer Failure to Show
Mom usually sends other people to pick me up. The first switch to my mother, my grandmother and uncle had a failure to show up there. Me and my father were there 10 minutes before the general pickup time, and 15 minutes after. I also left my fathers vehicle and bought a snack (and received receipt proof of our presence) at 8:12 a.m. Nobody approached me to pick me up, so we left. Mother’s Arrival
My mom arrived at my Father’s house. She called the police to come there and force me to go with her, I told them I refused to go with her. They notified me that I was old enough to refuse, and at the time I am writing this, I am still with my father. When he brings me this coming Monday (6/23/2025), I plan to refuse to get out of the truck. I have gone through enough stuff whether in this journal or not, and I am done with my mothers bullshit .

My Current Discord Status!

Original Character List

Trauma/Backstory;

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